I’ve been watching this debate on social media concerning preparing or fixing a man’s plate, go on for some time now. I don’t know how it got started, but it’s interesting to observe the comments on both sides of this issue.
Well here is my take on the whole concept of fixing a man’s plate; be it at home or at the family’s annual gathering. And before I get started, I want to be clear. This is just my opinion, so don’t get your back up. Also, I’m neither married or in a relationship, (nor do I aspire to be), but I do feel that I can weigh in on this topic just the same. I am a woman after all. So the disclaimer is for you all who will be quick to point out that I have no man.
I want to play devil’s advocate and shine the spotlight on the man’s point of view in this debate. I have read many of your comments stating that it’s the woman’s place, job or role to fix her man’s plate. And many of you think it’s preposterous that women should even be having this difference of opinion. In your minds, it’s a given that it’s your woman’s duty, (be it your girlfriend or wife), to cater to you. Well I beg to differ when you are not fulfilling your role in this situation.
This is the way I see it:
You want a woman/wife who will prepare your meals, serve them to you, along with cleaning the house and washing your clothes, etc, because you feel it’s her job. Then I say to you, it’s your job to make sure your wife is at home everyday to perform the role that you feel she is destined to fulfill. That means, you and you alone should be the one who works eight to twelve hours a day outside of the home.
If I, as your woman, have to get up every morning to go to work just like you do, then I am not a housewife and feel I am not obligated to perform housewife duties—if I am not a housewife. If we are equally working a nine to five, then we should equally fix our own plates. It’s only fair, don’t you think?
It is amazing to me how a man will be quick to tell a woman what her role is, but will quickly ignore his own role. You know that role where you are supposed to be the breadwinner and the sole provider for the household. So why, as a woman, am I obligated to play out my role 100% of the time, no matter what, but you get to side in completely fulfilling yours. If you want that woman who will fix your plate and do all the things that you consider to be a woman’s job, then you should be the man who makes sure she is at home to do that job.
When a woman comes home from work, she is just as tired as you are. And just like you, may not want to have to cook and clean after returning home from a hard day on the job. This is where (my opinion) everyone fixes their own plate; share the household duties, and take turns cooking meals. That is, if we both want things to be fair and equal.
And some of you will be quick to pull out that ‘back in the day that’s what women did’ speech. But back in the day, those women were the ones who were housewives. They were never expected to work outside the home, because the home was their job! You either want the bygone days of housewives or you want these new days where everyone works. You shouldn’t be able to have it both ways.
Now for you ladies:
For you women who do work outside the home and don’t have a problem with your mandated role, I respect and applaud you. You like it, I love it. But don’t criticize those women who don’t feel the need to play that role. They may see things a little differently than you. And for the ladies who don’t fix their man’s plates, let the ladies who do have that. Obviously, they don’t have a problem with it, so neither should you.